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Ackman Family Values

Amid his double-I.P.O. roadshow and latest attempt to buy Universal Music Group, Bill Ackman has gone public with a bizarre personal drama at Table, his family office—with the lofty goal of teaching other billionaires that it’s better to fight their legal battles on X than settle in the shadows.

Bill Ackman
Earlier this month, Bill informed his 2 million followers on X that, despite the risk of sharing too much information, he was turning to them for advice on how to deal with his family office situation. Photo: Michael Ostuni/Patrick McMullan/Getty Images
William D. Cohan
April 15, 2026

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While I was away, Bill Ackman, Gen X’s self-styled, would-be Warren Buffett—a.k.a. the Oracle of Bro-maha—struck again. I’m not talking about Bill kicking off the roadshow on Monday for the long-awaited combined I.P.O. of his hedge fund management company, Pershing Square Inc., and his new fund, Pershing Square USA. Nor do I refer to his latest attempt to buy Universal Music Group for around $65 billion, a roughly 80 percent premium. Instead, I’d draw your attention to Bill’s 2,500-word rant on X about the stunning dysfunction within his family office, Table, and what happened when Bill tried to clean house.